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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29705103">Chapter 8: When you came to me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterleaf/pseuds/Winterleaf'>Winterleaf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Deeper and Deeper [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7, JJ Project</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blow Jobs, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Making Out, Model Im Jaebum | JB, Mutual Pining, Pining, Polyamory, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:02:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29705103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterleaf/pseuds/Winterleaf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebeom readies himself for a new life in a new home, while Youngjae and Jinyoung try to come to terms with not having him around all the time. Jaebeom comforts Youngjae after he owns up to some yet unspoken worries. He invites all of their friends for a stay over at his new apartment where Youngjae has a surprise for Jinyoung and Jaebeom finally finds the courage to own up to his own feelings. But it doesn't quite go as planned...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Choi Youngjae/Park Jinyoung, Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Deeper and Deeper [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Chapter 8: When you came to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div>
  <p>Youngjae confronts him the very next day. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hyung you need to back off a little." He says, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees after he settles down on the coffee table infront of the couch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom who had been sitting cross legged on the couch having video call meetings for the entire morning looks up at Youngjae's firm tone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Excuse me?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're going to make him run away if you keep this up. Let him breathe." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It takes a few moments for Jaebeom to understand what Youngjae's talking about. When he does, his temper flares up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I just wanted to talk, but he-" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What did you wanna talk about?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You think I'm only doing this to get him in bed too don't you?" Jaebeom asks through gritted teeth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae doesn't respond and there in lies his answer. Jaebeom bites the inside of his lower lip for sometime, glaring at him as he breathes through his nose heavily, but the fight goes out of him quickly and his shoulders slump. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He told you what happened?" Jaebeom asks setting his laptop aside weakly, all anger flushed out, leaving behind only shame and guilt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No. But I can guess whatever it was didn't go too well." Youngjae says. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom lets out a heavy breath and feels his face redden further in embarassment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know what to do. I want to leave him alone but I can't." He says in a low voice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Why not?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I miss us, the three of us together." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"See that's the problem, Why won't you just out and say it?" Youngjae asks, frustrated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm trying, he won't let me!" Jaebeom snaps. "Do you really think I jumped on Jinyoung without trying to talk to him first?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And that makes it okay?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What? No! That's not what I meant!" Jaebeom says, his eyes widened in shock. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Why won't you try saying it to yourself first then?" Youngjae continues unruffled. "That you have feelings for him still? Why do you think he keeps running away? Because he knows you'll keep him hanging as long as you don't admit it to yourself." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know what I feel alright!" Jaebeom says looking around the living room, as if the answer will jump out at him from behind the bookcase he shares with Jinyoung or the piano he plays with Youngjae or the ugly cactus in a pot that Jackson presented to them as a housewarming gift for Jinyoung when he moved in and christened it 'Dick'. "I don't know if it's just attraction or something more. What if we mess up again? What if he stops believing in love altogether because of me?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He has me to remind him everyday." Youngjae says with so much confidence that Jaebeom feels the pang of jealousy poke at his insides again before it goes back to sleep. "You're going to keep holding back just so you don't have to own the responsibilities that come with that word, while you keep confusing him with your actions that never seem to match your words." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fucking hell..." Jaebeom groans, hiding his face in his hands. No wonder Youngjae was flipping his switch. "I swear I didn't mean for it to happen. He was just...there. He looked so..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Vulnerable? Weak? Easy?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom's eyes widen again as he looks up at Youngjae in scandalized disbelief.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're making me sound like a predator! He's a grown man and we're the same damn age! How many times has he pinned me down and fucked me senseless? He can push me off if he doesn't want it, you know he's strong!" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Physically? Yes." Youngjae fights back stubbornly. "Emotionally? You've always had the upper hand and you know it!" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom opens and closes his mouth helplessly for several long moments before he sags in defeat again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I keep fucking up, don't I?" Jaebeom says, covering his face and running his fingers through his long hair. He wants to rip them out, hurt himself so it can overcome the shame of once again being the one in wrong. He's the oldest, shouldn't he be the one who knows best? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He was more mad at himself for 'giving in'." Youngjae answers and Jaebeom can detect a slight quiver in his tone. "I don't know what's going on hyung and I'm trying not to let it affect me this time but I can't help it. You know how much you both mean to me, I can't even recognize you anymore." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He looks close to tears himself and Jaebeom winces at how little regard he's still been giving to Youngjae's feelings. Youngjae always ends up being collateral damage in their emotional war. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom pulls him into his lap. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did I make you jealous again?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Very much so." Youngjae sniffs. "I'm so used to having Jinyoung hyung to myself and now you come along out of the blue, guns blazing, taking over his brain. Even when he's alone with me he keeps worrying about you. And I'm so used to having you to myself that it feels weird to not be the centre of your attention anymore. Why can't you just find a balance?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm trying Jaejae, I'm trying so hard." Jaebeom says remorsefully. "It's just not in my nature. Jinyoung's right, I'm not like you and him, it's hard for me to share when I don't even know if I deserve to be here. I just know that I can't live without you." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You can't?" Youngjae asks with a pout, playing with the button of his simple black shirt and sniffing again. "And why is that?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Because I love you." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae keeps his eyes on the button but the smile that blooms on his face is beautiful. However, it's momentary, quickly turning into a frown again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know you love me. But what about Jinyoung hyung?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom sucks his lips in before sighing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I thought he was coming between us but when I saw him with Mark, something just snapped inside me." he confesses, taking Youngjae's hand and kissing his fingers mournfully. "Despite all the fighting I can't see him with anyone else."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"So you just have to tell him that hyung." Youngjae insists. "Tell him I swear that's the only thing you have to do, not all this pestering." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm trying. I've been trying all week, dropping hints here and there...Okay maybe they're more than just hints." Jaebeom says quickly when Youngjae raises an eyebrow. "But I wanted him to know before I leave."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It better be soon then, because I don't know how much more of this I can handle." says Youngjae, burying his face in Jaebeom's shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm sorry."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You keep saying that a lot these days."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What else can I say?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not complaining but still, I'm getting tired of it." Youngjae says, smiling at Jaebeom's angry pout. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Then what else can I do? Tell me and I'll do it." Jaebeom grumbles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Kiss me." Youngjae says softly, caressing Jaebeom's chin with a finger. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yeah well, why didn't you just say that before?" Jaebeom says, his breath hitching at the sweetness on Youngjae's face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae chuckles through the kiss and swings a leg over Jaebeom's lap so he can pull him closer. Jaebeom holds his jaw with one hand, running soothing circles with his thumb there and caresses his back with the other. Soon enough, they realize they need more, Jaebeom is going to move out soon and Youngjae still hasn't processed the complete repercussions of having him around even less than he already is these days. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before he realizes it, the tears from his eyes are wetting Jaebeom's cheeks too. Jaebeom pulls away worried and wipes at them with the thumb on his jaw. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jae..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hyung don't go." Youngjae sobs, tightening his arms around Jaebeom's neck and burying his face in it. "I don't want to live without you either." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not leaving you babe. I'll be here all the time whenever I'm off work."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's not the same.That's our bed in there, our room, this is your home." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I won't take away everything, just the essentials okay. It'll still be my home." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But you're going to take away my heart with you." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Youngjaeyah what's gotten into you? Talk to me." Jaebeom says, rubbing his hand on Youngjae's back worriedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I feel..." But the rest of the sentence is muffled against Jaebeom's neck as Youngjae's voice tapers off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What do you feel?" Jaebeom says, wrapping his arms more securely around Youngjae. It feels so good that Jaebeom squeezes tighter, trying to get rid of even the micro pockets of air seperating them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae doesn't repeat himself immediately, pulling away to stare down somewhere on Jaebeom's chest, his entire face red from crying and embarassment. He reaches for Jaebeom's left hand and plays with the ring on his finger that he has has taken to wearing on Jinyoung's insistence that he's fine with it. Jaebeom waits patiently until Youngjae sighs in defeat, knowing there's no getting out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I feel like I'm in a free fall, with no control at what's happening around me, on the people I love." Youngjae begins, his tone filled with guilt. "But most of all I feel scared for you. You're going to have people, important people over at your house at all times, I can't help thinking that you're going to lose yourself in the crowd and I won't be there to protect you." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's not your job to protect me." Jaebeom reminds him gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If I were in your place you'd punch me for saying that." Youngjae snaps with narrowed eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Ofcourse I would, but I'd also trust you to make your own decisions." Jaebeom says, pecking his nose. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That's easy to say when you're not in my position right now. You have no idea how-" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I love you Youngjae." Jaebeom interrupts. "I love you. I never say that unless I absolutely mean it. Doesn't that count for anything?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae looks guilty again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Ofcourse it does." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Then trust me." Jaebeom says. "I've never been disloyal to you. It took me so long to accept that you're in love with Jinyoungie and that's the only reason I even accepted him at first." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And now?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom hesitates for a moment. It seems like Youngjae is determined to make him face up to his own feelings and confess them out loud. Jaebeom can't deny the fact that he's right for it. He can't do this to them anymore, give a signal to Jinyoung and then leave him in the dark. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And now he's made a place of his own." he sighs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"So will you remember that when you go?" Youngjae says, a glowing smile lighting up his features. "Whenever temptation strikes, will you remember that there are two people waiting for you back home?"  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Ofcourse I will." Jaebeom says, giving him another peck, on the lips this time. "Though I'm not sure if it's two anymore. He didn't seem particularly bothered about me leaving." Jaebeom laughs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That's what <em>you</em> think." Youngjae says with a knowing smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What's that supposed to mean?" Jaebeom asks immediately. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not going to interfere anymore. You guys can sort it out on your own." Youngjae replies stubbornly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom doesn't push further but Youngjae knows he's planted a seed of hope in his brain and he can already feel Jaebeom's mood perking up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"So what do you want as compensation for letting me go?" Jaebeom asks, much more cheerfully than a moment ago. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We're getting our peace of mind. That's enough." Youngjae grumbles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Asshole!" Jaebeom laughs, punching Youngjae on the arm. "Oh I'm sure you can come up with something more special than that." he smirks, sliding his hands back around Youngjae's waist and pulling him back in with a jerk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae laughs against his lips and they kiss again, sweet little pecks with a promise of something more. Sure enough, Jaebeom pushes Youngjae off his lap to the side, narrowly missing his laptop before going down on his knees in between his legs, their positions switched.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae chuckles again as Jaebeom unbuttons his jeans but it quickly turns into a hiccup as Jaebeom leans forward to mouth at his erection through his boxers. Youngjae cards his fingers through his hair and smiles at him fondly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're so pretty like this you know? Both of you." He says, rubbing his thumb gently across Jaebeoms' cheek as he opens his mouth wider to take in more of the soaking bulge. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom preens at the praise, fluttering his long eyelashes and looking up at him with a pleased grin before closing his mouth slightly so Youngjae can feel his teeth on his balls. Youngjae lets out a groan and Jaebeom looks triumphant as he hooks his fingers under the waist band of Youngjae's boxers to pull them down just enough that his erection springs out, red and throbbing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Maybe we should do this at your new apartment. Break it in you know." Youngjae pants looking down at him with hooded eyes as Jaebeom spits on his hand and strokes his dick teasingly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nah. I'm gonna break that apartment in by fucking you on every surface possible, face down."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae takes in a sharp breath and Jaebeom's grin grows wider. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That's too vanilla for us..." Youngjae gasps out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Raw." Jaebeom adds. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae throws his head back as Jaebeom squeezes his dick and increases his pace, collecting the precum from the slit to make the glide smoother. His body is heating up quickly and his guts are already twisted in a knot just waiting to be released. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How about I watch you eat Jinyoung out." Youngjae shoots back. "Will you put on a show for me Jabeommie? We'll fuck you hard and good if you please us enough ..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom's grin is wiped off his face, just like Youngjae intended, and his other hand goes immediately to the bulge in his own crotch. Youngjaes' dick is ready to burst at the sight. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't cum yet." Youngjae commands immediately, tightening his hold on Jaebeom's hair, and Jaebeom groans in frustration as he takes quick shallow breaths to calm himself down a little and continues to stroke them both a little slower. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You like that don't you beommie? I can see why you like Jinyoung being on top. His voice does things to you doesn't it? His cock? Being filled to the brim and then being filled again. You like it when we dominate you, so later you can take your revenge and fuck our brains out." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom can't help the little grunts that escape from his mouth as Youngjae nudges the hand on his crotch aside with his foot and presses down on his erection. Jaebeom let's out an involuntary gasp before he remembers that Jinyoung is in his room. It's very obvious now that Youngjae wants Jinyoung to hear, wants him to know how much the thought of him makes them both crazy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He's got a beautiful ass doesn't he? Tastes good too." Youngjae continues, as Jaebeom leans forward to lick at the beads of pre-cum dribbling out of his dick and then sucking on the head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom moans at that, the vibration making Youngjae's hips jerk. Jaebeom pushes him back down with a hand on his pelvis and holds him there, ignoring his answering groan. He pulls at his pubic hair with the fingers not working his dick, to stimulate him further as punishment for his goading. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Should I call him out?" he says fiercely as Youngjae whines, thrashing against his hold. "Tell him to get his wet mouth around your dick while I fuck your mouth shut? You're talking too much, aren't you?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Please..." Youngjae begs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oh how the tables have turned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Remember when I came home to find you both lying on the couch, watching TV while he slept with his pretty lips wrapped around your dick? So plush and warm..." Jaebeom says mercilessly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Beommie please..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Bet he's in there lying in bed with his shorts down, jerking himself off to your moans. Isn't that why you're so loud today Youngjaeyah? Want to show him what he's missing?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hyung..." Youngjae cries out, turning his head to the side, his eyes screwed shut as his hips buck again. "Please..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Please what baby?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Please I wanna cum." Youngjae sobs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How do you want it baby?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your mouth, please..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hmm. Guess you've suffered enough." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Almost as soon as Jaebeom engulfs his dick into his warmth and gives a good hard suck, Youngjae explodes. He's been on edge for a while now and it's only so much he can take anymore as he feels his dick being swallowed and pulled by the tight suction of Jaebeom's lips. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom continues to suck, swallowing every drop like a pro while Youngjae shudders and convulses through his orgasm, his mouth open in a silent scream as his body arches forward and then back against the couch, his hands grabbing the cushions on either side and almost ripping through them with the intensity of his grip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His body is wound up so tight that the vein in his neck pops out and his breathing stops. When his hand jumps to Jaebeom's head to push him off frantically, one of his legs kicks out on its own accord and up-ends the little coffee table with a loud thump. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom pulls off with a jump and the pleasure of his muscles relaxing, the oxygen filling back in his lungs again is so intense that a loud whimper escapes Youngjae's  mouth before he can stop himself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The door to his old room swings open and Jinyoung hurries out with a concerned look on his face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you guys okay?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom is still gulping in some much needed air so he's unable to respond, sprawled out on the carpet on his elbows with his dick out, but Youngjae appraises Jinyoung with hooded, unfocused eyes before leaning forward to kiss Jaebeom whose chin is wet with cum. Jinyoung is quiet now, bewildered by the scene before him. Youngjae forces himself up then and tucking himself back into his pants walks up to Jinyoung, who's avoiding his eyes trying to back out of the room slowly. He pulls Jinyoung in by the waist before he can back into his room and places a hand on his chin before leaning forward to kiss him. His tongue swipes at Jinyoung's lips and they open instinctively to let him in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Even through the haze of mild aftershock pulsing through his body, Jaebeom realizes what Youngjae is doing, as he watches Jinyoung grab Youngjae's face and deepen the kiss, sucking on his tongue with relish. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae pulls back suddenly, smirking at an extremely confused Jinyoung who tries to chase his lips but fails. He pants helplessly, his pupils blown and eyes fluttering as he tries to clear his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know we said no sex, but you can still taste me." he says, squeezing Jinyoung's very prominent erection through his shorts and making him gasp.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He saunters off to their bedroom, but pauses for a moment outside the door to give a completely wrecked Jaebeom an evil wink. Then he heads in and shuts the door behind him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fuck him..." is all Jaebeom can manage. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung startles and looks at him as if he's just noticed his presence. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yeah, fuck him..." he mutters, heading back to his own room without another word, leaving Jaebeom to stew alone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>----</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung knows Youngjae's talked to Jaebeom because Jaebeom has been avoiding him again lately, though a certain listlessness has replaced the previous irritation in his eyes now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung pretends he doesn't notice, though every day is a battle between his heart and his brain and it's extremely difficult to stop himself from going to Jaebeom. Jaebeom has been avoiding their friends too, alternating between work, bed and packing. Jinyoung has noticed certain worrisome things like strong painkillers and a cigarette lighter in Jaebeom's jean pockets while putting them in the washer but he's kept it quiet from Youngjae for now who's busy himself. He doesn't want to worry him before he's confirmed that there is in fact a problem. Jaebeom is an adult after all and in a very demanding job. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But to confirm things, Jinyoung will have to talk to him. That, he doesn't know how to do anymore. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>One evening, they're all gathered for drinks as it's a national holiday and the bar's closed. Youngjae tells Jinyoung to get his new speakers from his old room so they can set up their home theatre for a movie marathon. Jaebeom has come in late from the shoot and he's excused himself to rest in their bedroom. Jinyoung can't help himself, he's been resisting the urge to check up on him for a while now, trying to stay content with Youngjae's hourly reports that he's doing fine. He walks up quietly to their bedroom, speakers in hand and pauses outside. He takes a deep breath and opens the door to a completely dark room. It takes time for his eyes to adjust as they've kept the corridor lights switched off too. He listens for Jaebeom's snores and hears quiet breathing. It seems that Jaebeom is awake but is in no mood to talk, atleast with him. Jinyoung bites his lip and turns back around, hesitating a little before making to shut the door slowly behind him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Suddenly, he hears the rapid shuffling of feet, an arm shoots out from behind and Jaebeom pulls him back in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I knew you'd come." he whispers into his ear, as he hugs Jinyoung from behind. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I was worried." Jinyoung whispers, clutching the speakers in his hands tightly as Jaebeom closes the door with his free hand, plunging them into complete darkness.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But that's it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jinyoungie, please..." There's a pleading kiss placed on his nape.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jaebeom, I can't do this to Youngjae. After everything we put him through..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He'll be happier knowing we're back together. You know that!" Jaebeom argues. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But for how long?" Jinyoung snaps. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I want you Jinyoungie and not just for sex. I miss you. I miss us and I know you do too!" Jaebeom replies. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I never said I didn't." Jinyoung answers quietly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Then why..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Because my heart won't let me." Jinyoung whispers, the pain in his voice evident. "Because I'm scared, I'm scared that we're going to hurt each other again, hurt Youngjae. I'm scared that we won't come back from it this time. I can't lose him like I lost you..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You still have me Jinyoungie!" Jaebeom pleads, holding him tighter. "I'm not saying we'll never fight again but I'll try my best to change for you, for Youngjae. No matter what happens, I'll come back to you." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm sorry Jaebeom." Jinyoung says, standing limp in Jaebeom's hold. "You were right. It's better we stay away from each other. Even this, what you're doing right now, do you have any idea how much it hurts and how much it's going to keep hurting me? You don't even love me..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom doesn't respond but Jinyoung feels his grip slacken just a little bit. That answer is enough. Jinyoung squirms a little and feels Jaebeom back away, taking his warmth with him and then he hears the rustle of the bedsheets as he gets back in. It hurts, God it hurts. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I just need a little more time Jinyoung." he hears. "I'm almost there. Just wait a little more, I'm begging you. Don't give up on me yet." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom breaks down into sobs and it's all Jinyoung can do to not turn around, climb up on the bed and pull him into his arms. But he restrains himself and stays by the door, crying silently.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me." Jaebeom continues through tears, his voice thick but clear in the quiet room. "To move on from what we've done to each other, from what I've done to you... Just know that I'm not giving up on us. Not again."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung doesn't look back, but his heart does a feeble thump, remeniscent of the time when it used to beat fast everytime he saw Jaebeom. Does this mean what he thinks it means? Is it an attempt at a confession or is he still reading too much into Jaebeom's words like he used to? Again, Jaebeom has said so many things without saying anything. As much as he doesn't want to, he can feel a certain fluttering in his stomach at the promise in Jaebeom's words.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He shuts the door quietly behind him and heads back to the living room, responding to Youngjae's bright smile with a genuine one of his own and wrapping himself around him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Go to him." he whispers in his ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>-----</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Over the next week, Jinyoung and Jaebeom continue to behave civilly, as if their last conversation had never happened, each lost in their own thoughts and decisions. As soon as Jaebeom is recovered, he moves out. He invites all of their friends for a couple of days' stay at his new apartment, as a way for them to get to know each other more and probably get over some of the residual awkwardness with Mark. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom is appointed their resident chef and he delivers with precision and taste. It's a large place with an indoor jacuzzi, where they laze around to their heart's content. Mark brings along his little Maltese Coco and Youngjae is absolutely smitten, petting her, feeding her, even taking her for a swim. He can't get enough. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you replacing me?" Jinyoung pouts in fake hurt. They're sitting on the living room couch watching some funny variety show with Coco while Jaebeom takes some work calls. They can see the others through the glass doors behind the TV that lead to the balcony outside, all settled comfortably on recliners.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No ofcourse not, you're still my number one." Youngjae grins, indulging Jinyoung as usual. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Then pet me too. She's hogging my share." Jinyoung says laying down on the couch with his head on Youngjae's lap. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Coco, don't hog nyoungie's share, say sorry." Youngjae coos and Coco immediately begins licking Jinyoung's face, making him laugh. Jinyoung picks her up to bump their noses together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"See? She got you whipped too. And she's more obedient than you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Excuse me! I can be obedient when I want to." Jinyoung says. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"See that's my point, you don't even realize how contradictory your words are."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Show me then daddy." Jinyoung says in a sultry tone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hyung stop it." Youngjae groans. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Why? Weren't you complaining to Bam just a while ago about how no one calls you daddy?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Not here." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Why not, daddy?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm trying to be good."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"For whom, daddy?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jinyoung!" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Daddy!" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Eww!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Its Bambam ofcourse. And Jaebeom, who looks like he's biting down on a laugh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"As much as I love hearing the word daddy from your pretty mouth, baby boy, just keep Youngjae hyung out of it." Bambam says, dropping down on the sofa chair next to the couch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung seems a little flustered but otherwise pretends not to notice Jaebeom walk over to sit down by his feet on the couch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Why not? He's my boyfriend. Who else am I gonna call daddy?" he turns to Bambam instead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The guy wants to breed you, don't feed into his delusions more." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Shut the fuck up Bam!" Youngjae snaps immediately. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How did you-wait you told him?!" Jinyoung sits up and turns on Youngjae in disbelief. Coco yelps and leaps into Jaebeom's lap. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Uhh...he might have found my manga collection. Without permission I might add." Youngjae says, glaring at BamBam who simply grins at the chaos he's provoked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You have a whole collection?" Jinyoung asks incredulously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Wha- no! I only have two issues!" Youngjae says quickly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"So you bought another one? The first one didn't clue you in?" Jinyoung asks testily.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom knows that at this point Jinyoung is really just enjoying having Youngjae in his power. He's not really mad, it's just payback for everything Youngjae does to him in the bedroom. He chuckles to himself, remembering all the times he joined forces with Jinyoung to tease Youngjae. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I got curious okay! It gets boring at the bar sometimes and the illustrations were quite, umm, graphic." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How graphic?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Th-they. I can't describe it okay, Bam's here!" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You were shameless enough to have those comics lying around at your workplace and broadcast our sex life to the world but you're suddenly shy now?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you really mad, or is it just the pregnancy hormones?" BamBam interrupts with a snide look. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Excuse me! How do you even know it's me?" Jinyoung glares at him. "It could be Jaebeom hyung he wants to breed for all we know!" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jaebeom hyung already has the emotional range of a toddler. Neither of you wants or needs another one of him, even I know that." BamBam says, smiling at his black painted nails. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hey!" Jaebeom protests, grin vanishing as he chucks a pillow at Bambam who simply catches it with a condescending smirk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"This isn't helping your case." he says and Jaebeom growls in consternation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What about it Youngjae? You got any answers for us?" Jinyoung turns on Youngjae again, pulling him back on the couch from where he'd been trying to escape quietly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That's enough Jinyoungie. He's turning purple from lack of oxygen." Jaebeom interrupts. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Surprisingly, Jinyoung grins back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Do you think he'll push out a few of our babies himself hyung? What do you think?" he winks at Jaebeom and then turns back to Youngjae. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I bet 10 dollars he can go up to 3." Jaebeom answers, his heart soaring. Jinyoung called him "hyung" again. After so long. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yeah I don't know what kind of foreplay this is and I'd love to join but I have a boyfriend so I'm gonna get outta here before you three start humping." says Bambam waving as he escapes the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They watch him walk through the glass doors with the sunset as his backdrop and drop down on Yugyeom's lap (who's laying on a lounge chair lazily) without hesitation. It's such a mesmerizing sight, watching the little dipping pool bathed in a soft orange glow, where Mark and Jackson are standing by the edge, making out in full view. Until Yugyeom has the bright idea to extend one of his long legs and kick Jackson's ass, sending them both splashing into the pool. The thruple in the living room laugh as they watch Jackson chase Yugyeom around while Mark tries to drown BamBam in the water. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hyung." Says Youngjae suddenly turning to Jinyoung with intent. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hmm?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung is still busy smiling at the shenanigans going on outside, so he doesn't see the ring until the light from the window hits its shining metal and reflects back into his eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Wow..." he blinks, finally focusing on the object in his face at the same time as Jaebeom does. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Both Jinyoung and Jaebeom straighten up at the same time, syncing unconsciously as they stare at the ring. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You never answered." Youngjae says with mock petulance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung stares at the ring for a long time, biting his lips as he considers and then looks up at Youngjae with hesitation. Jaebeom can guess what's going on in his head, a reel of every possible negative outcome that could come from saying yes to Youngjae and becoming a permanent part of this triangle they've got going on. He can tell Jinyoung is afraid of history repeating itself and the subsequent heartbreak that would follow. The fact that he knows Jinyoung so well is ironical considering how much they've fought. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom also knows that he's the only one who can convince Jinyoung to take the plunge, as Youngjae's face falls with every moment that Jinyoung fails to respond. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>So he takes Jinyoung's left hand in his and extends it towards Youngjae. Jinyoung looks back at him in surprise but Jaebeom gives him an encouraging nod. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know I have no right to say this but, trust me." He says, trying to express all his sincerity through his eyes as Jinyoung searches them for reassurance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Finally, Jinyoung seems to find what he's looking for and turns back around to grab Youngjae's retreating hand and push his finger firmly into the ring. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae's face lights up like the sun the very next moment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you sure?" He whispers, grabbing Jinyoung's hand with one hand and his face with the other. "You can say no okay, I'll understand I swear." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm sure Jaejae." Jinyoung smiles as Youngjae kisses his hand again and again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll make it worth it. I promise." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Me too." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom can feel the warmth inside him too. Youngjae and Jinyoung seem to have forgotten his existence completely as they huddle together closer and go back to watching their friends fool around, but he can still feel their connection through the ring on his own finger. He has to buy one for Youngjae too and he hopes Jinyoung will come along. He grins like an idiot as he watches Jinyoung sneak a hand into Youngjae's and then smile shyly at him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>This is it. This is his chance. He reaches out to take Jinyoung's free hand, right as Jinyoung moves it to cup Youngjae's face and kiss him. Jaebeom, who'd snatched his hand back as inconspicuously as he could manage, watches them deepen the kiss, letting the longing take over his heart without shame. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And somehow, it reaches Jinyoung, who breaks their kiss and turns his head around to look at Jaebeom, pink faced and swollen lips, he reaches out to grab Jaebeom's shirt and pulls him towards them. Jaebeom follows like a puppet, his eyes trained on Jinyoung's lips, but Jinyoung simply turns to Youngjae nods his head in Jaebeom's direction, leaning back a little so Youngjae can latch on to Jaebeom's lips eagerly. The disappointment Jaebeom feels is quickly overcome by the love he feels coursing through his body for Youngjae. That and gratitude towards Jinyoung, Jinyoung who, when he loves, loves completely, when he gives, gives completely. Jaebeom wants to reach out and hold Jinyoung. His folded knees are pressed against the back of Jinyoung's hips who has his legs slung over Youngjae's lap. Even that simple touch is enough to make his heart sing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They make it work somehow, making out with Youngjae without touching each other. Jaebeom has to remind himself not to be greedy and expect any more, especially not after what he'd done to Jinyoung this past year. Despite all that, Jinyoung has let go of all pettiness and decided not to remind him of it, to not take revenge. He really has changed. He could have held on to it simply out of spite and Jaebeom knows he would have deserved it. He also believes that it's all for Youngjae, but he's content still. He's being included, that is enough for now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae dips Jinyoung across his lap as they make out and Jaebeom relaxes back against the arm of the sofa. Jinyoung's foot kicks out from under Youngjae's arm, giggling as Youngjae plants adoring kisses all over his face and Jaebeom catches it. He begins kneading the soft pads of his toes and the curve in the middle of his foot. Jinyoung's foot jerks a little, but with a bit more kneading he stops resisting, letting Jaebeom massage his foot while Youngjae coos over him. It's so domestic that Jaebeom's heart swells. This is how it's supposed to be always. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"So where were we?" Jinyoung asks suddenly, arching back across Youngjae's lap to stretch his arms above his head like a cat while Youngjae rubs his exposed belly fondly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What?" Jaebeom asks, staring at the curves under Jinyoung's thin shirt, the small inch of tanned skin that is revealed when his hem is lifted slightly, he can see the waistband of Jinyoung's baggy bermuda shorts hanging enticingly low on his hipbones and he can't help being disappointed that they cover his thighs well. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Okay, he's not that selfless, there's no rule stopping him from looking.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh yes, Youngjae was about to push out our babies." he says, tearing his eyes away from Youngjae's hand sneaking under Jinyoung's shirt to smirk at him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hyung..." Youngjae whines, going even redder if possible. "Way to ruin the moment." He pinches Jinyoung's soft belly in punishment and Jinyoung straightens up with a yelp. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom simply chuckles and gets off the couch to head towards the kitchen, leaving them to wrestle as Jinyoung takes his revenge. It's getting dark and he needs to start dinner. He starts with his preparations but he can still hear them from the couch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hyung can I ask you something?" Youngjae's asking. Jinyoung is leaning back against Youngjae's chest as Coco dozes off on his. They lie stretched out on the couch, staring absently out of the window while Youngjae caresses Jinyoung's arm with one hand and pets Coco with the other. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jokes apart, what do you think about kids?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I love kids."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yeah, I know. But I'm asking specifically." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You mean our kids?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Youngjae places a hand on Jinyoung's heart and Jinyoung immediately starts playing with his fingers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You know what I really wanted to be?" He says after a while. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"A pole dancer?" Youngjae answers with a grin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No!" Jinyoung exclaims, hitting his thigh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Okay, okay, I'm kidding! A man can dream..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I wanted to be a dad. I used to draw pictures all the time. A house, a dog, a cat, smoke in the chimney, stick figures of me and my wife holding hands with our kid. My mom used to think the kid was supposed to be me with my parents but that wasn't it." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Boy or girl?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It wasn't specific then. But now, I think we could do with a girl in our apartment." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We can have that you know. Us three and our little girl." Youngjae smiles dreamily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You'd like that?" Jinyoung asks, turning his head back to look at Youngjae eagerly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yup. I'd like that with you two." Youngjae says, pecking him on the cheek. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Me too...but I know we're not ready for that now. Not with..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He doesn't have to finish the sentence for Jaebeom and Youngjae to know he's talking about their unstable relationship. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"In the future then." Youngjae says, kissing the side of his head. A promise. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And what if I shower all my attention on our daughter like you do with Coco?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll go to Jaebeom hyung." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung hits him again, laughing incredulously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What? Our daughter hasn't even arrived and you're already fighting with me." Youngjae complains. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom bites his lip and continues to work steadily. Though he hasn't really thought about something like that, it was always a Jinyoung and Youngjae thing, but he has to resist hard not to butt into the conversation. Suddenly, a whole new future for their relationship has opened up to him, that they haven't explored yet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>After a while, he hears Youngjae call Coco for a walk and then soft footsteps approach the kitchen area. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Need some help?" Jinyoung asks softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Sure. Why don't you fold the dumplings while I stir the sauce?" Jaebeom says trying to put on a casual stance. Something's changed in Jinyoung's demeanor ever since he put on the ring. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung gets to work at the counter filling up the dumplings with cooked meat and twisting them close neatly. He's not good with cooking but he's good at this kind of stuff. Jaebeom glances over while stirring his pan of sauce and gives him a hum of approval. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I forgot how good at this you were." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm good at a lot of things that you've forgotten." Jinyoung retorts back immediately before he can stop himself. He freezes with a half folded dumpling in his hands and then glances at the stunned look on Jaebeom's face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Sorry, I didn't mean to start a fight, I just...sorry." he says, flustered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No it's okay." Jaebeom says quietly. "I miss talking to you like this... Fighting has been the last thing on my mind lately." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They work quietly for a few more minutes, then Jinyoung speaks again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Youngjae said it too." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Said what?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That I let my tongue get away from me a lot, without thinking of the consequences." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I do too, you know. Maybe that's why he keeps telling us we're so much alike." Jaebeom smiles ruefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's kinda sad isn't it, to share something so negative between us? Not really something to be proud of in a relationship." Jinyoung says gloomily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But we're not in a relationship are we Jinyoungie?" Jaebeom asks, stopping in the middle of his stirring to look at Jinyoung. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"...no..." Jinyoung says sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom hesitates again, but only for a moment before walking over to the counter and sliding his arms around Jinyoung's waist. He takes it as a good sign that Jinyoung doesn't flinch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But we could be...if you wanted to." He whispers against Jinyoung's ear, bracing himself for the rejection that is sure to come. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But it never does. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He presses his lips against the soft skin and then when Jinyoung still doesn't push him away, presses another kiss on his shoulder, digging his fingers into the soft flesh on Jinyoung's belly. They've been eating a little too much, without exercise and Jinyoung's gone soft here, it feels good, so good that Jaebeom lets himself get carried away and pushes his hand under the hem of Jinyoung's shirt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jinyoung's abs shiver slightly at the sensation of Jaebeom's fingers gliding softly on them, but he still doesn't push Jaebeom away. Jaebeom can hear his ragged breathing, he can see his swollen lips from the side, hanging slightly open as if waiting to be fed, and he has more or less smushed the half made dumpling in his hand, his other hand gripping at the counter tightly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom slides his hand up further, hearing Jinyoung's breath get more labored every second, his chest heaving against his palm. He removes his other hand from Jinyoung's hip and makes him let go of the smushed dumpling before pulling his fingers up to lick them clean. Jinyoung turns his head to watch him with hooded eyes and Jaebeom holds his gaze longingly. Jinyoung licks his lips as he watches Jaebeom suck on his fingers slowly, one by one and then swallows. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I love you." Jaebeom whispers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He feels Jinyoung freeze in his arms for a whole minute before he looks up to meet Jaebeom's gaze. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What are you saying...when..." he sputters. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fuck, not in the kitchen!" And ofcourse it's Jackson this time. Jinyoung and Jaebeom spring apart immediately. Jinyoung gulps down some air trying to stabilize his racing heart as he straightens his shirt while Jaebeom only just becomes aware that his sauce is smoking. He curses and lifts the pan off the stove immediately, saving it in the nick of time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Meanwhile, Jackson is still going at it, grabbing a bottle of cold water from the fridge and slamming the door shut. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Y'all are seriously sickening! Bam and Yug are bad enough, now you two as well?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"As if we didn't see you and Mark going at it outside in full view of the kids, you hypocrite!" Jaebeom snaps. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The kitchen is supposed to be a sacred place!" Jackson yells and leaves before they can stop him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Needless to say, the silence that follows is very, very awkward. Jaebeom can still taste the filling in his mouth mingled with the taste of Jinyoung's skin. He can still smell Jinyoung's scent, still feel the goosebumps on Jinyoung's skin against his fingers and he doesn't know how to continue what they'd just started. But Jinyoung ofcourse has a way of turning all his expectations upside down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Let's...just have a quiet vacation. We can do it when we get back, you know, get it out of our systems. Just once..." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom is taken aback. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Out of our systems...?" he asks slowly. "Get what out of our systems?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What do you think?" Jinyoung mumbles under his breath, as if hoping Jaebeom wouldn't hear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His mind is reeling. It takes him a minute to understand what Jinyoung is implying. And when he does, his guilt boils up again. Does Jinyoung really think sex is going to make Jaebeom back off, solve all their problems? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jinyoungie-" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jaebeom please. Just leave it." Jinyoung interrupts, washing his hands clean and tearing out a fresh piece of dumpling dough again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But-" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Do you want me to leave?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, ofcourse not!" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Then can we finish the rest of my stay here without drama?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jaebeom bites his lips in frustration. Half of him is tempted to grab Jinyoung and force him to talk. But experience has taught him that patience is a virtue. It's not like he doesn't have himself to blame for Jinyoung being so determinedly in denial about his feelings. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Okay. We can do that." he grits out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Good." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The rest of the dinner prep continues without any more words or eye contacts exchanged between them. Though every pore in Jaebeom's body is aware of Jinyoung's presence, close enough to touch, but forbidden. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He sighs. It's not like he doesn't deserve it. </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry for the gap between this and my last update. I got drowned in school and work but I hope this makes up for it. Please let me know in the comments if you enjoyed the chapter!</p><p>Make your fic requests on my : <a href="https://twitter.com/winterleaf333?s=09">twitter</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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